Lost in desperation
by Cybertronian-Star
Summary: Post Dark of the moon. Optimus attempts to comfort his youngest comrade who is blaming himself for the deaths of their allies.  One-shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers sadly, but if I did let's just say…It would never end! :D

OMG seriously? It's been over a year and a half since I last updated? I am so sorry people, I have been real busy with sixth form (pretty much like college but in school) and many other things that have taken all my time. I am free now so I should be here more often! :D

Ok these one-shot features spoilers from Dark of the moon. It contains parts from both the novel and live action film. All I can say is seriously get the book xD. The twins really deserved to be in the movie for what they did. The novel contains more 'mature' things also that the 12a film could not add in due to possible sensitive themes.

"Transformers" – Talking  
><em>Transformers – <em>Thoughts  
><strong>"Transformers" – <strong>Radio  
>:<em><strong>Transformers: - <strong>_Cybertronian (Not featured)  
>:Transformers: - Comlink (Not featured)<p>

I thought Dark of the moon was a good film, but the only thing eating at me is how there is hardly any mourning involved. Apart from Bee saying goodbye old friend to Wheeljack (Que) there was nothing. Ironhide was pretty much just forgotten about, at least the novel has some mourning involved.

xxx

Lost in desperation.

Optimus surveyed the battleground with mournful optics, viewing all the death and destruction of possibly the greatest war that had taken place in a long time. He was exhausted, in pain and his spark felt empty.

He had refused repairs from Ratchet wanting the others to be looked at first. He glanced at his human allies, medical officers swarming the wounded. Sam and Carly were a little ways off holding each other in a deep embrace, shaking in grief and relief.

The last prime looked over to his comrades – his friends – his brothers; it had seemed that none of the Autobots has escaped injury. There were seven Autobots left – now possibly the only Cybertronians left. Optimus' spark ached for all the friends and allies he had lost over the ages. _There's so few of us now..._ The biggest shock had been when he had found out what had become of one of his oldest and most trusted friends. Ironhide. Murdered by the traitor Sentinel. He had received Ironhide's last distress signal telling him to protect Bumblebee, the Autobots and the humans. Sentinel was aiming for the young bot. Ironhide had given his life for Bumblebee, the Autobots and the humans. He had lost ever so many friends. Jazz, Ironhide, Wheeljack, Prowl, Arcee, Chromia and flareup. He believed his sparkmate Elita had also been wiped out – the endless void of pain in his spark had showed him that. Even his newer allies like the twins Skids and Mudflap, Jolt, wheelie and brains had also lost their lives. Optimus didn't even want to think how many thousands – possibly millions of human and animal lives were lost during the final battle. He tore his sorrowful optics to his six - no five comrades. Where was Bumblebee?  
>A cold chill swept through the commanders grieved spark. <em>Where is Bumblebee? He was there…I saw him… <em>He thought worriedly. He tried to ping his scout's comlink but static was the answer. Optimus strode over to his Autobot comrades.

"Ratchet. Where is Bumblebee?" Optimus called over to the medic who was cleaning a light head wound on Sideswipe.

Humans and Autobots alike jumped from hearing the Prime call out with slight panic in his normally calm voice. Both human and Autobot had started to look around. The scout was nowhere in sight.

"I thought he had been with the humans" The tired voice of the medic replied.

Sam had broken away from Carly and had started calling out for his friend.

The wrecker's moved towards their leader.  
>" We will search the area Prime" Leadfoot said before the trio of Autobot's had transformed and had sped away to look for their comrade.<p>

Optimus whirred his vents in an equivalent of a sigh then had turned away from the group to help look for his missing friend.

"Optimus! Just where do you think you're going?" Shouted a rather annoyed Ratchet, taking his hand away from Sideswipes head.

"You have severe injuries that need to be taken care of!"

"Ratchet I am fine-"

"NO you are slagging not! Look at your arms for primus' sake"

"Ratchet he needs to be found, if he is injure-"

Ratchet's optics dimmed slightly, revealing his worry for the yellow scout and understanding why Prime needed to find him.

"Go, but don't be long, you are still leaking energon."

The Prime nodded his head before walking away from the group of humans and Autobots. As he got farther and farther away he could still hear the calls from Sam and Carly and the others – trying to help search for their missing friend.

Optimus' spark felt so heavy, he just wanted to crouch and grieve for once, but he couldn't. He had to be strong. He felt guilty not only for his own allies but the humans and even his own brother Megaton. His brother had asked for a truce and he had killed him. A prime was never meant to kill a surrendering enemy but Optimus was just too enraged, he had just lost it. His brother did not deserve to live after what he had done, neither did Sentinel for that matter.

_Stop thinking of these things, you biggest worry right now is Bumblebee. _The Prime thought to himself.

The Prime had found himself in a clearing where once a giant skyscraper had been. He was about to walk on until his optics caught a slight flash of yellow by the demolished skyscraper.

_Bumblebee…_

Optimus walked closer to the young scout who was sitting away from the Prime, facing the sunset, his frame hunched and doorwings were flat against his back. Optimus could hear the yellow Autobot weeping his damaged vocal processor out. He could see the shoulders of his comrade shaking as the younger Autobot had completely broken down.

"Aww… Bumblebee" Rumbled the great Prime, looking over the scout. Bumblebee had a few nasty injuries that Ratchet would need to patch up.

At the sound of Optimus' voice the scout visibly jumped, antennae and doorwings stood right up in alarm; however the bot did not turn round. It has surprised the red and blue Autobot that the spy had not heard his arrival.

"Bumblebee are you hurt?, why is your comlink not working?" Optimus asked, a slight amount of worry tingeing his normally stoic voice.

All the Prime got was silence and then a muffled robotic sob soon followed.

"What's wrong Bee?"

"You can tell me anything youngling…"

more silence.

The last Prime began to kneel behind the younger bot, metallic parts creaking in protest. He didn't wish to intimidate his most loyal lieutenant.

The silence has broken when the yellow Autobot slowly turned round. His head was facing the tarmac below. Optimus could see coolant leaking from miserable blue optics.

"It's m-my fault they're g-gone." Bumblebee said, his voice coming out strained.

"What do you mean young Bee?" Optimus answered.

_What's troubling his young spark?..._

Bumblebee cycled his vents before a low whine sounded. The yellow Camaro just kept his head to the floor.

_He will be so disappointed in me… _The young mech couldn't help but worry.

"Bumblebee…You know you can tell me anything…"

"It-its-" The bot coughed and brought a fist up to his throat probing the metal, feeling the scars of old which had long ago took his ability to speak.

"Bumblebee, use your comlink" Optimus said wincing at the pain the Camaro must have felt every time he tried to talk.

_Damn you brother… _Optimus thought, rage slightly building up, his processor bringing up memories of what had happened to his youngest soldier. It had disappeared however when the other began to talk.

"I-I can't s-sir… When I g-grabbed…the pi-pillarr, the energy di-storted my-my c-comlink, s-s-sorry…"

"Don't be sorry Bumblebee…If you feel able to talk you can."

"I-it's just my fault s-sir."

The yellow mech finally looked up to meet the optics of his commander and father figure.

Before Optimus could respond the yellow mech carried on.

"I-it's my f-fault I-Ironhidddde is-is gone…" Another quiet sob exited the younger mech.

"When S-Sentinel gave a-away his t-true motive, h-he just s-shot I-Ir-Ironhide. I-it hap-happeneed so f-fast… I C-COULD D-DO NOTHING!" Bumblebee became frustrated once again with his vocal processor and then began to bash the bottom if his chin, trying to jar it into working. The pain of admitting how he felt to Optimus really didn't help; it sent sharp stabbing pains in his already aching spark. Bumblebee realised there was no going back now. He just wanted to tell his commander how he felt, just how much pain could he put up with from his vocal processor?  
>"He-he just d-dissolved Optimusss, it m-must have hu-hurt him soooo muchhh..."<p>

Optimus opened his mouth but before he could vocalise, the yellow bot began to shout.

"S-SENTINEEL T-TRIED TOO A-IM FORR M-ME…BUT S-SKIDS S-SAVED ME, MUUUDFLAP GOT S-SHOT STRAIGHHT AFTEERR!"

"A-all bec-because I was just to-to shocked to d-do any-anythinnng, I-I jussst frozeee…"

"T-then l-later we were c-caughht byy theee D-decepticcconsss. W-Wheeljaccck heard what they were g-going to dooo to usss… Barrricaddeee shot h-him beforeee I c-could do anythinnng! S-Soundwaaave haddd even s-showed m-me the re-remainsss of Mi-Mirage. Everyone-e lo-loses their l-lives because I-I am not s-strong eno-Kzzzz!" Bumblebee vented slamming an already damaged arm into the tarmac below.

"Krzzzzzzzzz….."

The yellow bot could speak out no more, his vocal processors gave out and Bumblebee began to break down again in both frustration and anguish.

Optimus was shocked by this outburst from the yellow Autobot. What surprised him more was that Bumblebee blamed himself for all of their deaths, much like he did when his Autobot allies and humans were killed. Bumblebee hated death and like Optimus himself he loathed wasting life, whether it was good or evil. It had always been a weakness of the yellow espionage agent.

"Aww…Bumblebee…"

The prime reached out with his better arm and with a metallic finger lifted the sobbing bot's chin.

"It's not because you are not strong Bumblebee. It's because of your strength that they gave their lives to protect you, Cybertron and the Earth. During Ironhide's last moments in this world he had comlinked me to tell you that no matter how stern he had acted towards you, he was always proud of you and that he was honoured to have been alive to protect and watch you grow youngling."

Optimus knew he was not getting through to the adolescent mech. He decided to try a new tactic.

"Bumblebee…Their sacrifices were not in vain, had they not given their lives for you, we would not be here…"

Optimus watched as the yellow mech's head slowly rose once again, but still would not meet the Prime's optics.

"Without you Bee, we would have not been able to get through the city. You were the one who stopped the bridge from sending Cybertron over. No one else could have done what you did little one. I am so proud of you" Optimus' voice purred over the word proud.

Baby blue optics finally met royal blue optics.

"Ironhide and the others may have passed – it was not their time, but fate is what guides us, it is not always our choice Bumblebee. Everything that happens in the universe is meant to happen for some reason of another, it may not always be fair but that youngling... is what life is. Our allies who have passed would not wish for us to grieve, they were honoured to die for this world, our home Earth…and our old home Cybertron…"

Optimus fell back slightly before catching himself when the yellow mech had jumped upon him, young arms circling around the mech's neck. As soon as the shock had settled the great Prime returned the hug back with the one 'good' arm he had.

Bumblebee was shaking and sobbing in sadness and the Prime knew the younger bot just needed some comfort. Bumblebee had always needed comforting. When the minibot was younger, he had been too timid to try to make friends, luckily as the scout had been orphaned when he was nothing but a sparkling, he always had mech's like Optimus, Ironhide and Jazz to keep him company and give him the affection and courage when the youngling needed it.  
>It had helped, the young spy had become so much friendlier to others and could make friends easily with other Cybertronians and even other species from different worlds.<p>

The reason why Optimus had chosen the Bot to go to Earth first. The spy was kind and gentle to everyone, he tried to avoid conflict as much as possible however, all bumblebees had stingers right? Though small Bumblebee was, the mech could take down a Cybertronian well above his height and weight.

"**Thank you…Sir…I just never got to say goodbye…" **The yellow mech pieced parts of different movie clips together to form a sentence.

" Bumblebee…Just because you cannot see someone anymore it does not mean they are not there. Their souls may have joined the Allspark but they are forever in our sparks, remember that Bumblebee…"

Squeezing the smaller bot once again, both mech's broke apart. Optimus could still see the sadness in his youngest comrade's optics, but revelation and acceptance could be seen in the bright blue optics.

The pain would always be there but it would lessen over time. _Time is a good healer… _Optimus thought, remembering a human's phrase that Lennox had once used.

"Their lives were not lost in vain Bumblebee. Remember that."

Optimus grunted lightly before standing to his full height, hydraulics hissing in slight protest. The yellow mech had also stood up however his moves were almost silent, no creaking whatsoever.

_I wish my parts didn't creak like that... _Optimus thought mentally smiling.

"One more thing Bumblebee. Me and Ironhide had discussed this a long time ago and even though you are young, you are very wise for your age. I believe its time I gave you a higher rank young one. What do you say about becoming second in command?

Bright blue optics shot straight up to look up at the darker optics.

"**You mean me?...But….Sir…There are others who…Could do the job better…"**

"That's where you are wrong Bumblebee. Me and the other Autobots had discussed this, you were always our first choice. Believe in yourself Bee. I will not force this position upon you…But you are the one who indeed deserves it."

"**Iron…Hide…Chose me?...Yes thank you…Sir…It would be an honour serving with you…"**

"I should be the one who is honoured _delegate _Bumblebee."

"Come let us go, or Ratchet would have our aft's, commander and second in command or not." There was a slight humorous tone to the great Prime's regal baritone.

Patting the scout on the shoulder once more, the Prime started to walk towards the rag-tag group of survivors. Turning round to face the scout, Optimus smiled before saying.

"Only this once Bumblebee, but I will not tell Ratchet what you did to your vocal processor, hopefully now as Wheeljack had brought over spare parts, Ratchet will finally be able to give you a voice."

Bumblebee dipped his head in embarrassment.

**" I'm Sorry…"**

"Nothing to be sorry about young one." Optimus said amused, before he turned round and began to walk back through the remains of the city.

Bumblebee looked once more to the fire coloured sky, watching the ball of energy slowly begin to set. Unconsciously a song drifted out from the agent's speakers.

"**Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?  
>You build up hope, but failure if all you've known,<br>Remember all, the sadness and frustration,  
>And let it go…Let it go"<strong>

_Thank you everyone…I will never forget any of you and I hope we meet again someday…_

The yellow second in command turned around and began to follow his commander.**  
><strong>

**xxx**

There ya go, I hope you liked it – I was unsure if I should put it up or not that's why it took me like five days to decide whether to post it or not. I would really appreciate feedback!"  
>Thanks ^^<p> 


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